My arrogant opinions about politics, culture, science fiction, and whatever else I feel like talking about.

This One Even I Find Hard To Believe

        Uncle Sammy wants to buy you a golf cart .

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        And the angel said unto them, "Be not afraid!  For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is inaugurated this day in the city of George a Saviour, which is B. Hussein Obama the President."  And since then, everything has been perfect.   (The Gospel According to CNN, Chapter 2, verses 8-11.)

And He SHALL bring Peace to ALL THE WORLD, and in only Two Weeks, Too!

Posted by: saintonge at 08:44 | link | comments
politics, idiots, insanity, democrats, congress, not satire, government policy, stupidity springs eternal, i am not making this up, our new messiah™

Business Opportunity

        Having just dealt with what Microsoft laughingly calls customer support, I have an idea.  How about a computer company that treats you honestly?

        "Hello, this is Micro-damned-hard-to-use Customer Support.  You are now going to enter our phone tree, which exists for the sole purpose of discouraging you.  We're trying to get you to hang up, so that we don't actually have to talk with you.  Talking to you costs us money, and we're here to get yours, not spend ours.

        "Please listen very carefully to interminable choices designed to discourage you before we actually connect you to someone.  Don't be surprised if absolutely none of these choices have anything to do with your problem.  Instead, just thank Ghod we don't add insult to injury by making the recorded vote sound friendly and helpful.

        "Now that you've picked something, please give us all kinds of information.  None of this information will help us in any way, but providing it will be a pain for you.  We'll especially make it a point to ask for information we could collect automatically, like your phone number.

        "Damn, you stuck with it long enough that we're going to have to actually let you talk to a human being.  Get ready to give them some of the same information we already collected.  Be prepared for them not being able to help you.

        "The human being who couldn't help you was unable to discourage you, and will now connect you to someone else who might actually be able to help you — assuming you don't lose it when they ask you for information you've already provided several times.  There will be a delay in connecting you, because we don't hire enough people to deal with the call volume quickly.  But then, we didn't want to deal with it at all.  We'd wish you a nice day, but frankly, we wouldn't mean it.  We're pissed at you for sticking it out this long.  Why didn't you hang up like the rest of the losers we sold our shit too?

        *Foreign accented voice in call center.*  "Hello, please give me the information I don't need, which you've already supplied at least twice . . .

        "OK, you win, what's the problem? . . . "

        I'd deal with them in a heartbeat.

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        And the angel said unto them, "Be not afraid!  For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is inaugurated this day in the city of George a Saviour, which is B. Hussein Obama the President."  And since then, everything has been perfect.   (The Gospel According to CNN, Chapter 2, verses 8-11.)

And He SHALL bring Peace to ALL THE WORLD, and in only Two Weeks, Too!

Posted by: saintonge at 13:17 | link | comments
annoyance, and now for somthng compltly dif

A Naysayer

        It seems a heretic mocked Our New Messiah™ three years ago.

        Among the mean and unfair things this obscure bastard said (his name was Barack H. Obbaima, or something like that):

        This appearance is really the capstone of an incredible 18 months.  I've been very blessed.  Keynote speaker at the Democratic Convention.  The cover of Newsweek.  My book made the best-seller list.  I just won a Grammy for reading it on tape.  And I've had the chance to speak not once but twice before the Gridiron Club.  Really what else is there to do?  Well, I guess ….  I could pass a law, or something …

        About that book, some folks thought it was a little presumptuous to write an autobiography at the age of 33, but people seemed to like it.  So now I'm working on volume two-the Senate Months.

        My Remarkable Journey from 99th in Seniority to 98th.

        (With an introduction by Nelson Mandela.)

        And most of all, I want to thank you for all the generous advance coverage you've given me in anticipation of a successful career.  When I actually do something, we'll let you know.

        I guess it just goes to show, a profit is not without honor, except in his own time and his own country.  But B. Hussein Obama, I worship you!

         

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        And the angel said unto them, "Be not afraid!  For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is inaugurated this day in the city of George a Saviour, which is B. Hussein Obama the President."  And since then, everything has been perfect.   (The Gospel According to CNN, Chapter 2, verses 8-11.)

And He SHALL bring Peace to ALL THE WORLD, and in only Two Weeks, Too!

Posted by: saintonge at 09:35 | link | comments
miscellaneous, satire, democrats, and now for somthng compltly dif, our new messiah™

A Brief Note For the History Books

        I hadn't intended to comment on the award of the Nobel Peace Prize to the President of the United States, but I find there is something about the event worth saying after all.

        The cut off for nominations for the Peace Prize is Feb. 1st., unless a member of the Committee adds a nominee at the first meeting.

        So, Our New Savior™ would appear to have received his richly deserved Prize, awarded for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples," especially his "vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons," in only ten and a half days in office!

        I stand in awe.  I never would have believed that it could be done in such a short time.  But then, I recall all that the Obamessiah accomplished in his first 10½ days as President of the United States, his noble efforts (no pun intended), carried out in only 252 hours, many of them devoted to retaking the oath, eating, sleeping, and using the facilities and . . .

        Well, I'm speechless.  Has anyone accomplished so much in such a short time since Jesus?  Is this not evidence of B. Hussein Obama's more than human nature?  And he still has over three years in his first term!

        I feel honored, awed, and humbled to be living in such an age.

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        And the angel said unto them, "Be not afraid!  For, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is inaugurated this day in the city of George a Saviour, which is B. Hussein Obama the President."  And since then, everything has been perfect.   (The Gospel According to CNN, Chapter 2, verses 8-11.)

And He SHALL bring Peace to ALL THE WORLD, and in only Two Weeks, Too!

Posted by: saintonge at 08:34 | link | comments
politics, fantasy, europe, satire, idiots, weirdness, insanity, democrats, foreign affairs, blowhards, leftists, usamerica, incomprehension, wishful thinking, weapons of mass destruction, i am not making this up, and now for somthng compltly dif, war is peace etc, our new messiah™